The Groom and Gardener at Fernhill Manor, New Milton

We need to haunt the house of history and listen anew to the ancestors' wisdom.

Maya Angelou 

Nolene Lossau is still digging into the mystery of what happened to Kathleen Argyle, my maternal grandmother Nellie's mother, from the Isle of Wight.

The 1911 Census of England and Wales shows that her parents Frank and Jane are now 65 and 70. What is also special about the 1911 Census is that he would have filled in the form himself, it is Frank's handwriting I am looking at.

They have moved from Christchurch, where Frank was a publican in the 1901 Census, to New Milton.

Frank Guster is now a groom and gardener at Fernhill Manor in New Milton and as Nolene noted:

'Perhaps Frank’s business as a publican went belly up and he had to move and get a job elsewhere – that may have necessitated them sending Nellie to South Africa?' 

He certainly moved around and changed his occupation frequently, in an earlier census, 1881, he is 36, married to Jane and living at 4 Bank Place in Ryde, Isle of Wight and at this stage in his life he is working as a Coachman.

The census form shows they had 7 children and 2 were deceased in 1911, maybe Kathleen is one of their deceased children. 

Frank dies 3 years later aged 69. 

I am still wondering what has happened to his daughter Kate.

The mystery of Kathleen Argyle

My maternal grandmother was Nellie Winifred van der Veen, nee Argyle, and this is what I know about her mother, Kathleen:

Kathleen Argyle was born Kathleen Guster, sometimes spelt Gustar, on the Isle of Wight early in 1878.

Her Christening record shows the date as 7 April 1878 and the place as Wootton, Hampshire, Isle of Wight.

Her father is Frank George Guster (1847 - 1914) and mother is Jane, nee Gould (1841- 1919).

From the 1901 Census data Frank is 55 years old and a Licenced Victualler, or Pub owner.

I have also found a family tree on FamilySearch which records her family all the way back to the 1500's!

And yet she remains a mystery.

There is a marriage record on the 25th September 1897. She is 19 years old then and is marrying William Argyle. He was the son of a gardener and a laundress and he is a decade older than Kate.

Their first child, Edith, is baptised 8 months later on the 13 May 1898 and dies on the 15 August that same year.



Kate is recorded on the 1901 census, she is 23 years old and living at 16 Church Street in Christchurch with her parents.

(Christchurch is a borough and town on the south coast of England. The town adjoins Bournemouth in the west and the New Forest lies to the east.)

Nellie is also listed, the grand-daughter of Frank and Jane and is a year old.

And then nothing.

Nolene and I have drawn a blank at this point after the 1901 Census.

William comes out to South Africa and settles in Pretoria, Nan arrives at some point, he remarries and no one seems to know anything about Kathleen, whether she died, or they divorced, or she remarried, all very curious.

So a potential story of Kate and William Argyle: 


Kate, one of 7 children born to the Pub Owner Frank and his wife Jane, was living in Christchurch, Isle of Wight. 
She is a young woman of 19 when she falls in love with an older man, one William Argyle, the son of a labourer and laundress. Perhaps he frequented Frank's pub. 
She is seduced by the trumpet playing dark eyed man, maybe her parents disapprove but either way she is committed.
Their daughter Edith is born 8 months later and the couple suffer through her death 3 months later. Kate falls pregnant again and they have a second little girl called Nellie Winifred. 
In 1901, Kate has taken refuge with her parents and she has the little Nellie with her. 
At some point they take Nellie, dressed in fine clothes and bonnet, to a formal photographer for studio photos, are they recording the moment that she is leaving her mother's family?

From here the story gets cloudier and we do not know what circumstances caused the young Nellie to move to Africa, maybe Kate had died and Nellie's grandparents were too old to have the responsibility for the little Nellie, or did William decide to raise her and sent for his daughter?
If Kate did not die, what would cause her to let Nellie go to her father in this remote colony, so far from the Isle of Wight? 

Every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The story of Ann Sibbick through the England Census records

History remembers only the celebrated, genealogy remembers them all.

Laurence Overmire

While Christopher Wedderburn and his family were making a new life in the Eastern Cape in South Africa, on the Isle of Wight a little girl called Ann is born to Edward and Hannah Sibbick.

She was born in Brading, on the east coast of the Isle, sometime in 1831.

Nolene Lossau looked at the Census records with me to find out more about the young Ann.

She is 10 in 1841 and with her family in Brading.

1841 Census Data, Ann Sibbick with her family in Brading.

1851 Census Data, London House in Ventnor, Ann is a Housemaid.

Her father, Edward, is 55 and registered as an agricultural labourer. Her mother, Hannah is 50 and has no occupation indicated on the form.

She has 2 older brothers, John, Isaac and little Henry is only 3 years old.

In 1851 she was now 20 and had moved from Brading to Ventnor in the district of Godshill, in the south east of the Isle of Wight.

The census record is a delight to look at.

Ann Sibbick is working at London House in Ventnor as one of 4 servants to an Elizabeth Briant, a Wine Merchant.

Feels to me like an early version of Downton Abbey, a Cook, a Housekeeper and 2 Housemaids. The census data also records 2 female lodgers at London House, both from Ireland.

I googled London House in Ventnor and it seems to still exist with a wonderful Facebook page and is a bakery and deli. A must on my itinerary for when I visit the Isle of Wight.

A decade later, life has moved on for Ann.

She is 30. Still living in Ventnor on the Isle of Wight but she is now married.

1861 Census Data, Ann is now married and living at 54 St Catherine Street, Ventnor.

Her husband is John Argyle. He is also 30.

The Census data records him as born in Fordington, Dorset, which is part of the town of Dorchester in the south-west of the UK.

John's occupation is given as a Labourer and Ann is now a Charwoman.

They are living in St. Catherine Street, at number 54 which seems to remain the family home over the decades.

1871 Census data, Ann is a mother to Annie and William

By 1871 Ann is 40, still married and a mother of two.

They have 2 lodgers registered with them at 54 St Catherine Street, a James and Frederick. I cannot make out James occupation but Frederick is a Bakers Assistant.

John, Ann's husband is now a Gardener and she is a Laundress.

From the Census data her children are a daughter Annie, who is 9 and a scholar.

And little William who is a year old in 1871. My Nan's father.





Post script: 
A FreeBMD search shows that Ann Argyle died in the last quarter of 1894, on the Isle of Wight, at the age of 64.

A crash course in genealogy research

Our ancestors are totally essential to our every waking moment, although most of us don't even have the faintest idea about their lives, their trials, their hardships or challenges.

Annie Lennox

An afternoon with Nolene Lossau and all things genealogy

What a delight to spend time with Nolene Lossau.

She navigated me around the National Archives files in Pretoria, the Family Search website and FreeBMD a site which provides access to the Civil Registration index of births, marriages and deaths for England and Wales.

She opened my eyes to using Census data, it was all quite wonderful.

I look forward to doing research into my mother's family.

Nolene finding a gem for me, the existence of Edith Argyle, a little sister to my Nan.

One of the surprises of the afternoon was finding out that my maternal grandmother Nellie Winifred had an older sister, Edith Argyle.






Edith was born in Freshwater on the Isle of Wight to William and Katherine Argyle. She only lived for a few months and died on the 15th August 1898.

Nan was born the following year.

How interesting that William, after he was remarried to Fanny, named another little girl Edith.
She was my Godmother.

A remarkable teacher

Jennifer Soicher.

A remarkable teacher and the head of the Nursery School.

She was the life and soul of the Houghton Nursery School. There are very few teachers that I remember and she has stood out over all these years.

These were lovely years, both Fred and I got very involved. I chaired the PTA and we had the meetings here at home in Norwood.

The annual Fireworks evening was fun and Fred used to work so hard to make it a success.

I found this letter in my box today written on the 19th August 1993, from Jennifer, Shawni had been to visit the Nursery School. It was just after my Mom had died and she sends her thoughts to me. I notice with pride her comment about Shawni, 'what a lovely, young, polite lady she has grown into.'

I know.

The Nursery School years.

The experience of the weather

"Unseasonably cold.  

Snowing down south already! But clear blue skies and crisp cold. Feels like JHB.

Thank god our house is warm.

 The heat pump/aircon works like a dream."

These messages came from Shawni this morning about how she is experiencing the season change in Wellington, New Zealand and it got me remembering how frequently I wrote to Mom about my experiences of the seasons in Paris.

These photos of Shawni, either in her colour co-ordinated pale blue raincoat and wellingtons or her gorgeous red winter coat with its white fur trim and her black boots, tell the story of her braving the winter of 1986/7 in Paris.

I also tell Mom about the central heating in the house in Les Ombrage, 'Fred likened it to living in an igloo'. 

The house was warm all winter, in fact if we did not run the heating system the pipes would have frozen and burst.

Ice on the car windows, frost and ice covering the garden, and eventually the wonder of snow.

We had it all.

So Shawni, layer up like the forecast says - 4 clothing layers and 1 waterproof layer. Oh my you will look like the Michelin Man.

I loved the seasons in Europe, buying the right clothes and shoes was critical and we did not always get it right, but managed just fine.

A stash of Postcards

Portage Glacier, Alaska;  Pisa, Italy; Eden, New South Wales; Bathurst, New South Wales; Amalfi Coast, Italy; Whitsunday Islands, Great Barrier Reef; Sydney, Australia; Quebec, Canada; Namib Desert, Namibia; Yorkshire Dales, United Kingdom; Agincourt Reef, Great Barrier Reef; Daintree Rainforest, Queensland; Capri, Italy; Canberra, Australia; Ulladulla-Mollymook, Australia; Gold Coast, Queensland; Whistler, Canada; Wisemans Ferry, New South Wales.

The joy of travel reflected in postcards sent to Dad while he was living in this flat in Amanzimtoti.

Cards from his family.

I have kept them in a serviette holder as he did and have enjoyed browsing through them this evening.

There are 3 cards that stand out for me:

Fred and I are in Quebec at the quite fabulous Chateau Fontenac Hotel. Having a martini at the the bar with a view across the St Lawrence River.

This was part of a 2 month trip during June and July 2006. We travelled across Canada having adventures and celebrating my 50th.

I wrote that we had seen Minke and Beluga Whales the day before.

Inel, Shawni and I in Sydney together in July 2007.

I took Shawni to Australia for 3 weeks to celebrate the delightful young woman she had become, she finished her degrees that November.

Inel writes that the Sydney sights have been superb and that it is lovely to see Shawni and me.

I write about the koalas at the Zoo, a show we saw, which would have been 'Pricilla Queen of the Desert' and having lovely times together.

And Shawni says 'Hi Grumps, having such a great time....'

The final card, in Doreen's gorgeous handwriting, is her writing from the Whitsunday Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.

She says the days are perfect and she is with Inel, Guy, Jason, Carmie and Jossie, having an amazing island experience.

They snorkel, walk and she is loving her sister time and this was an amazing holiday in 2010 celebrating her 40th birthday.

The amount of life in these postcards is simply wonderful.

Janet's Easter Tree

I am delighted to have found this old photo, even if it's not a particularly good photo, but it shows the Easter Tree that Janet made for our weekend together in the Black Forest in 1987.

My letter talks about this German tradition and Jan replicated the tradition, branches decorated with ribbons and hanging Easter eggs. 

I wish that we had continued this, I like the whole idea of the Easter tree. 

So Shawni loved chocolate then and Barry less so, it seems to me those rolls have reversed over the years. 

What has not changed is that all the Wedderburn girls still love their chocolate, as does my father. He has a stash next to his bed in frail care and never says no, particularly to a Kit Kat.

Fred has two Lindt Bunnies ready for Sunday and our Easter visit with Dad.

Easter and cousins having fun.

An Easter farm stay near Furtwangen, Germany

Our farmhouse stay near Furtwangen, Germany,

Brothers Fred and Henk.

Brothers Fred and Henk, sharing an Easter weekend together in Germany, April 1987.

Fred working in France and Henk in Germany.

Such a special time for us all. Jan and I were able to share times together while the boys were working in Europe, a Christmas in the UK, an Easter in Germany and times in Paris too.

Our friendship with Henk and Janet has been a constant over many decades, our children growing up together and its a friendship I really value.

The farmhouse animals living on the ground floor of the main house is a memory that has stuck.

I am amused by my comment to Mom that 'Shawni enjoyed the smaller animals but was intimidated by the huge diary cows.' Knowing myself, I would have been just as intimidated.

A Postcard from Germany

I am at the Loft window, looking out across the fields below us and a beach walk is beckoning. The Easter traffic is building up and is a constant hum in the background.

I have a postcard sent to Mom. It is the Easter of 1987, we drove to the Black Forest in Germany to join Henk, Janet and little Lexi for the long weekend.

Henk was working in Karlsruhe, Germany at that point. Time to find some of the photos of the trip and see what I wrote to Mom when we got back.