"Howick Covered", Doreen honours our mother Estelle Wedderburn

My sister Doreen has a graphic design business in Hilton and has just completed the first publication of "Howick Covered", a book featuring the local businesses, schools and institutions.

She used this opportunity to honour our mother, Daphne Estelle Wedderburn and show case her wonderful art.

The Wedderburn family moved from Vanderbijlpark to Howick in 1980. Mom got involved in many things during her stay in Howick and we are particularly proud of the drawings she did of the historical buildings around town.

I love what Doreen has done, she has created a Historic Howick page and featured two of Mom's line drawings, the Anglican Church and the Howick Falls Hotel. They are both well known landmarks and well loved buildings. The "Howick Covered" gets delivered to all the businesses and residents, no doubt they are going to enjoy seeing these drawings.

For Doreen: your talent is remarkable. Thank you for thinking of this special tribute to Mom, she would be so proud of you and she would have loved to see her worked featured in this professional way.

The story of William Argyle's petition for a divorce

What a twist when I read this first petition document in the divorce file I have just received from the United Kingdom National Archives.

In the November of 1902, when William Argyle, my great-grandfather was petitioning for a divorce, he was in Pretoria on active service with the 92 Company of the Royal Garrison Artillery!

This is so interesting as I have been wondering when, how and why he ended up in South Africa and what caused him to leave the Isle of Wight.

I have mapped the William and Kathleen timeline from all the documents and research I have done:

• William born in 1869 on the Isle of Wight, to John  and Anne Argyle (nee Sibbick).
• Kathleen born in 1878, to Frank and Jane Guster, from Freshwater on the Isle of Wight.
• They have a registry marriage on the 25 September 1897.
• They lived at Church Place for about a year and at No 2, Chartree Villas, for eleven months, both places in Freshwater on the Isle of Wight.
• Their first child, a daughter called Edith, was born in 1898, baptised on the 13 May and died on the 15th August 1898.
• Nellie Winifred, my Nan, was born on the 29 May, 1899.
• William is ordered to leave the Isle of Wight on the 13 November 1899 for active service in South Africa.
• He is 30 years old in 1899.
• Little Nellie is not even 6 months old when he leaves.
• The 1901 Census record has Kathleen and Nellie with her parents at 16 Church Street in Christchurch.
• William remains in active service in South Africa and does not know when he shall be able to return to England.
• Kathleen, on the 12 April 1902, starts her affair with Arthur Merchant.
• Kathleen and Arthur reside at 13 Albert Street in Ryde, Isle of Wight.
• William's younger brother, Ernest, writes to William and informs him of the facts about Kathleen and Arthur.
• William first hears about his wife's adultery in this letter from Ernest on about the 10th May 1902.
• William acts on the information and instructs his brother to take proceedings on his behalf to abstain a divorce against his wife.

• The petition is filed on the 12 December 1902 by Turner and Co, Solicitors at 61 Carey Street, Lincoln's Inn, WC. Lincoln's Inn is a fascinating historical set of buildings in London. Worth a visit I think.
• In the meantime from Pretoria, William organises his documents under the signature of JHL Findlay who is a Justice of the Peace for the District of Pretoria in the Colony of the Transvaal. 
• The documents have both his signature and initials on them, William has a good handwriting, open and clear but certainly with a lesser flourish than the esteemed Findlay.
• He lays out his case for his marriage to Kathleen to be dissolved.
• William also requests that he have the custody of the child Nellie.
• Findlay also requests that the co-respondent, who is Arthur Merchant, may be condemned in the costs of these proceedings.
• Also that the petitioner may have further and other relief as may seem fit.
• On the 26th may 1903, the Decree Nisi - Jury, noting that the respondent and the co-respondent did not appear  and did not defend the suit, pronounced that the petitioner had sufficiently proved the contents of his petition. 
• The document confirms the 50 pound claim and more importantly gives William custody of Nellie.
• On the 7th December 1903 the Decree Absolute was brought before Sir John Gorell Barnes, a Juctice of the High Court, Strand in the County of Middlesex, and the marriage was declared dissolved.

An artefact that Bert has made by William Argyle

Goodness me, I suppose William then sends for Nellie and at some point he decides to remain in South Africa. 

All I have of William Argyle is the odd black and white photo. When I met Bert Cornell, Mom's cousin, he showed me this artefact that his grandfather William had made. Looking at it now, it makes a bit more sense given William's military history.

So here I am, generations later looking at William and Kathleen's story and trying to understand how it must have impacted my Nan. I assume she never saw her mother again and had no communication with her either. 

William does remarry one Fanny Murray, has three more daughters but he dies in 1919 at the age of 50.

I feel the need to breathe deeply and put this story aside.

Census data showing William's younger brother is Ernest. 

An envelop arrives from The National Archives

I have been eagerly watching my postbox for the last few weeks, waiting for this envelop from The National Archives in the United Kingdom.

The postal slip arrived yesterday and I dropped everything to fetch my letter parcel.

The envelop contains all the documents relating to the divorce of my great-grandparents, William and Kathleen Argyle, my maternal grandmother, Nellie's, parents.

I was immediately struck by this stamp, "CLOSED UNTIL 2004", these documents were sealed for 100 years!

As I hoped, reading the petitions and the Court Minutes has shed more light on this part of my family history.


Nan, or Nellie Winifred Argyle, grew up in Pretoria with her father William and stepmother Fanny and her 3 half-sisters, Edith, Elsie and Kathleen. It was only after I met Mom's cousin Bert Cornel, Kathleen's son, that I learnt that my Nan and her father had come to South Africa from the Isle of Wight and that very little was known about her mother. This got me doing the research and discovering the divorce of her parents online. I then paid the National Archives to have these document photocopied.

The timeline is shown on this cover page:

• Petition Filed: 12 December 1902
• Setting Down Cause: 16 March 1903
• Decree Nisi: 26 May 1903
• Final Decree: 7th December 1903

The first document confirms their civil marriage on the 25th September 1897 at a Register Office on the Isle of Wight, William was 28 and Kathleen 23 years old. The marriage was witnessed by by Frank and Annie Guster, Kathleen's parents. I notice William was living at Church Place, Freshwater and this is where they start their married life. William gives his 'Rank or Profession' as Carpenter and it is blank for Kathleen.

The certified copy of the Marriage of William Argyle to Kathleen Guster in 1897, provided to support the divorce process.

Well lets dip into the documents and recreate their story.

"S'il vous plait...dessine-moi un mouton!"

My book, inscribed from Florence in May 1987.

I wrote this commentary from Anne M Lindbergh in my copy of Antoine de Saint-Exupery's Le Petit Prince:

The Little Prince comes down to earth from his miniature planet, touching several other worlds briefly en route. He is confused and distressed by what he finds on these outer realms. He meets a king who only wants to wield authority; a conceited man who lives for applause; a businessman who counts the stars; a geographer at a desk with his nose buried in scientific data; and a lamplighter, obeying outworn orders. None of these planetary beings can give him any reason for their occupations, or any sense of life. 
At last, on Earth's African desert, he meets a snake and a little fox who give him some answers. What is the point of life? What is essential?

 "What is essential" says the little fox, "is invisible to the eye, one can only see with the heart."

What is important are the bonds that link us to one another in a concept greater than oneself.

There was a moment in France, while we were watching the production of Le Petit Prince in Paris at the Lucernaire, that I felt connected to the language, I felt understanding happening and in my letter to Mom I write: 'We were quite enchanted and just so proud of our progress that we could understand the play!'

Fred's Mom had offered to babysit and we had taken ourselves to the theatre to see this French classic, and it has stayed with me, the experience, the illustrations, the story and the expression; 'S'il vous plait...dessine-moi un mouton'.
"So you can imagine my surprise when, at daybreak, I awoke to a funny little voice, saying "Please... draw me a sheep."

My mother-in-law comes for a visit

Fred's mother in Paris, July 1987

Summer at last, the little plastic pool.

On the 6th July 1987, I was loving the long, wonderfully hot and sunny French summer days, throwing open the French doors, Shawni was running freely in the garden and Barry was happy to play in the little plastic kiddies pool that we bought for them.

And my mother-in-law, Greet Kersten was visiting.

Fred and I have a delightful image of her using a ladder to scale the fruiting cherry tree in our garden just outside the summerhouse, she was so happy and Fred so alarmed that he was going to miss out on the warm, ripe cherries.

She did enjoy making the summerhouse her little home and popping into the house to use the bathroom. She was strong, loved going into Paris but I do see from the letter that I was tiring her out
'we walked the length of the Champs Elysees and Rue de Rivoli'.

'Shawni ranged from enthralled to terrified'

"The kids had spent a year on the project"

One of the pleasures of having the littley's with us in France was finding special places, shows and exhibitions geared for children. I remember loving it all as much as they did.

I see from this extract of one of my letters sent to Mom after our boating holiday on the Charente in the June of 1987, that we went to a marionette show at a 'chapelle' in Saintes, which is in the Charente -Maritime province.

Each young boy had made a puppet as an art project, then a story was written around the puppets. What a creative idea, will let Inel know as an idea for her school too.



So 'Barry was wide-eyed, Shawni ranged from enthralled to terrified, especially when the narrator has a bad dream and life-size, weird looking puppets come on stage." 

Nearly time for Shawni and Craig's visit

This time last year we were 'roaming around the USA' as Shawni's Postcard says. What I love is the symmetry of time. This time last year Fred and I were anticipating Shawni and Craig's visit and here we are a year later doing the same, just in a different part of the world.

Last year they spent two weeks with us in Oregon and Montana, a glorious adventure taking in Mt. Hood, Portland, Seattle and Yellowstone National Park. Since then they have moved to Wellington, New Zealand and they are popping back to Johannesburg for some family time.

Cannot wait.

Their wedding Thank You Postcard is so original and reflects the attention to detail around their wedding. It truly was 'the most magical and special day'. A perfect day.

Saying yes to a wedding invite

The Kersten family came to Africa from Europe on the Zuiderkruis, June 1958

When I met Fred in 1977 I had no hint that he was not South African and it came as a real surprise to me when he first spoke Dutch and introduced me to his family in Zimbabwe.

His father came out to Rhodesia in the late 50's to make a new life after the tough post war years in the Netherlands.

Fred Snr came out to Rhodesia about 6 months before the family. With hindsight, so courageous.

We have this document which is a little gem, Fred, the 'alien', arriving in the Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland on the 3 June 1958, a little soul of 8, not speaking a word of English.

The family came across from Europe on the Zuiderkruis, his mother, his 2 brothers, Hans and Henk and his 2 sisters, Elly and Louise.

I can imagine what a handful they must have been and what fun they must of had. Fred remembers dressing up and playing hide and seek on board and just never being found.

Even though Fred had a large extended family overseas, he grew up not meeting or knowing his relations, except his grandmother who did visit once.

When it came to planning our wedding we sent invites to all his relatives in Holland.

I have this postcard from Fred's Mom sent from Queenspark, Bulawayo to my flat in Berea on the 26th March 1979, she is very excited to share her news: 'Surprise, surprise, you no who is coming to your wedding? Tante Roet and Ome Piet, your fathers brother and sister.'

Having the two special and unexpected guests added a wonderful dimension to our ceremony and a happy time for Fred's father.

Ian Wedderburn my cousin, who was our Master of Ceremonies, even prepared a piece in his speech, in Dutch, to welcome them.

Saying yes to the wedding also got us interested in seeing Ome Piet and Tante Roet again, as well as getting curious about the bigger family.

During our travels overseas during the eighties and when we lived in Paris, we had loads of fun spending time with the extended Kersten clan in the Netherlands, meeting most of Fred Snr. brothers and sisters as well as cousins along the way. We even had the opportunity to meet Fred's mother's sisters who were still alive in 1982.

We went past his birthplace in Amsterdam, other houses that he had lived in, churches he knew, we ate foods that he recalled like 'poffertjes' and 'zoute haring', enjoyed fields of tulips, watched windmills turning, ate rounds of glorious cheese, travelled the length and breadth of the country and had many sociable meals with the family in their homes.

A lovely time.

We slowly lost contact with the extended family during the busy nineties, raising our own family, working hard at work and life in general. The older generation has mostly passed on now, with Tante Lies, the oldest sister dying last month in her early 90's. An era has passed and I am pleased we made the touches when we did.

Social media has been useful to keep in touch with the cousins and Peter Kersten and I make good use of Facebook to stay in touch.

Shawni and Barry have a clear sense of their Dutch roots from their father which they value and this pleases Fred.

Elizabeth Taylor in London, April 1981

Growing up in Vanderbijlpark my exposure to the theatre, live shows, musicals and music was non-existent.

Entertainment was listening to the radio, playing my 7" singles or LP's and every now and again a visit to the local bioscope, which I think we called the 'bughouse'.

While at Wits University I went to see the performance of 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat' starring Bruce Millar, Alvon Collison and Richard Loring at the Great Hall. Only word to describe how I felt was enthralled, my first live show and first musical.

Each time we travel I make sure to book a show. Over the years we have seen wonderful musicals in London, New York and here at home - the ones I remember were Phantom of the Opera; Cats; Billy Elliot; Queen; Les Mis (although I fell asleep); A Chorus Line; The Lion King; Hairspray; Starlight Express; Evita; Jesus Christ Superstar; Godspell and my latest favourite Kinky Boots on Broadway, last July for my birthday.

During our second trip to Europe in 1982, also a holiday and business trip for Fred, I booked my first London show at the Victoria Theatre, which starred Liz Taylor in The Little Foxes. I have the postcard I wrote to Mom and Dad that I had booked tickets for the Friday, I have the program, the tickets, but I need to make a confession, I have absolutely no clue what the play was about, it has not stuck as a remarkable experience at all.

A night at the Victoria Theatre, Friday 23rd April 1982

"I start again a life without Dad."

Fred and Greet Kersten, Fred's Mom and Dad through the years.

1981, Fred and I had been married for a couple of years and we were living in a delightful cottage in Grove Road, Mountain View.

1981, the same year that we travelled to Europe for the first time, meeting Fred's family in Holland was, however, also a time of great loss for the Kersten family.

This tiny little Thank You card sent to Fred and me at number 6 Grove Road, from Zimbabwe on the 27 November 1981, tugs at my heart.

Fred's mother is deeply mourning the loss of her husband Fred Kersten and she writes how she is battling to do the routine things in her life, 'In the beginning I burnt my potato's and I didn't no how to make spinacie'.

She is also finding solace in these same routines though, 'Yesterday I was making nassie goreng 6 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday, did my big wash and was finished 8 o'clock.'

Fredericus Maria Kersten

2 December 1926 - 12 November 1981

My wedding dress is stolen in France

My postcard from Paris to my sisters Inel and Doreen written on the 18 June 1981, mentions that we were making our way to Dijon and then onto Nice. 

This final leg of our first overseas trip was with Telemecanique, the French firm that Fred worked for.

We were fetted and spoilt throughout the visit and I had packed my wedding dress to use for evenings out. 

The dress was beautiful and simple, ankle length, with a jacket and made from an off-white knitted boucle.

I have Mom's little notebook where she recorded the cost of the pattern and the fabric, it came to R63.10 in 1979! She made my dress, sewed her own as well as making dresses for Inel and Doreen. In fact, she planned and delivered the whole wedding. Quite wonderful.

I cannot remember if I did indeed wear my dress while we were 'razzling until late at night' but I can vividly remember the theft.

Fred and I were on the Mistral, an SNCF train to Nice. The photo below shows us enjoying a first class meal.

My suitcase was stolen from the baggage compartment. I was devastated, my dress was in the suitcase along with many of the souvenirs and gifts we had bought while in Greece, Holland and England.

I can remember been angry with Fred for taking this photo of me making a statement at the police station in Nice.

From my slumped body I can see how unhappy I was.

Telemecanique were so kind after the theft, they took me clothes shopping in Nice. That certainly got me smiling again.

I may not have my wedding dress but I still have the Daniel Hechtor pants suit in my cupboard. It's black with tiny red hearts. The pants are to small but I enjoy wearing the jacket.

Remembering my lost wedding dress.

A restaurant in Athens called 'Espresso"

I was 25 years old and travelling overseas for the first time.

It was May 1981 and Fred combined a holiday with a business trip to Telemecanique in France.

Our first destination was Athens and I sent this card home to my parents who were living in Howick. The excitement in the writing is tangible, 'Athens has been incredible and strange so different to our world. The museums have been astonishing.'

I was completely in love with travelling from my very first trip even though I wept buckets when Olympia Airlines went on strike and cancelled our flight to Crete. It took me a while to regroup and make alternative plans.

Looking back it must have been Fred trying to cheer me up that made him so cavalier at a restaurant called 'Espresso' in the Plaka, the old part of Athens beneath the Acropolis.

We had the only, rather cosy, balcony seat with a view over the busy streets. Their card 'urges' you to come to dine and drink, and so we did.

Taking in Athens, summer of 1981.

I have no clue what we ordered or drank looking at this bill.

It was the first and only time I have ever experienced Fred throwing caution to the wind in a restaurant, ordering food and drinks at will, he said yes to everything, but not without consequence!

I riffled through my photo album from 34 years ago as I remember keeping both the restaurant bill and our hotel bill.

Fred had spent more at "Espresso" for the one night of dining than for the 3 nights at the Plaka Hotel which included food too.

He still tells this story, he laughs now, but on the night he was unaware, too much alcohol to read the fine print, so it only dawned on him when he got the hotel bill what had happened.

He was shocked for quite some time.

"I have tried very hard."

Kersten family during the early school years at Norwood Primary School

How delighted I am that I kept some of the children's art, their Christmas notes and their school letters.

Barry's card would have been with his school books when Fred and I did a teacher visit during his Primary School years. It is a joy, colourful, bold and his message is too precious.

He still tries 'very hard' in all he does.

Oh and Barry, one more thing I love you too!

Learning mindfulness from Mom

Mom's schedule of furniture that Dad inherited from Kalkval

The more I dip into our legacy of letters and notes from the family, the more I appreciate the effort that my mother made to be mindful of this legacy. She preserved the story of Dad's family history by researching and creating the Wedderburn Book. She also was careful to document the special items that she and Dad valued like the jewellery, vases, paintings, silver and furniture.

Our homes are dotted with these special things and I know that my sisters love their pieces as much as I do. Even Shawni has a dressing table and some of her Nan's art in her home in Wellington, New Zealand.

This is one of my mother's lists. I found this photo of Shawni sitting on the Queen Anne chair that Mom had documented. The chair has pride of place in my hall next to the kist I inherited from my mother's Mom.

I have taken this mindfulness on board.

I have started a word notebook with photos and the story as best I know it behind my inheritances. This ancestral blog has gotten me involved with the generations that have gone before, it has been a remarkable journey of insight and discovery. I am loving it all.

....and Mom's Cake

John and Estelle Wedderburn, cutting the wedding cake, 13 March 1954

I have this black and white wedding photo on my desk here at home and I am quite in awe of  this magnificent wedding cake.

It's the flamboyant flowers that catch my attention, and I would love to know what colours were used.

Perhaps Dad will remember, I will ask him.

The photo got me looking for Mom's fruit cake recipe that she would make up for Christmas. I have her hand written recipe and will share it with my sisters as I am not sure if they have a copy squirrelled away too.

Maybe one day I will get to making it.

Nanny Ina's ginger beer recipe

Shirley Wedderburn, my cousin from Bloemfontein, and I were talking a few years back about how we both remember the cloudy bottles of ginger beer in the pantry on the farm.

The odd raisin in the bottles must have slipped through the muslin cloth because I can recall those plump, moist raisins with the kicker of ginger as I popped them in my mouth.

The beer was fizzy, it seemed alive, was pungent with ginger,  and quite marvellous to drink ice cold on a hot December afternoon when we came up for tea after swimming in the Modder River.

This is the recipe as Shirley remembers it.

Ina Moodie Wedderburn (nee Phillips), Dad's Mom and my Nanny Ina

The "Vagabond" on La Charente

Life onboard the Vagabond, our 'bateaux habitables', on the Charente River

Floating down La Charente, which is a charming, tranquil river in the southwest of France, between Saintes, Cognac, Jarnac and Chateauneuf, for a week in the June of 1987, was 'good fun'. 

Fred and I did just well with 2 little children in a boat, bathing them in the sink, and just generally making sure they did not fall into the river....


Reading my postcard to Mom, I could pack my bags right now and hire another boat.

There is nothing quite like cycling into a village in France, finding a boulangerie for baguette, picking up cheese and charcuterie, buying summer fruits, opening some easy drinking wine and having a picnic on the bank of a river.

Fred and Barry look so pleased with themselves in this photo, what an impressive place to choose to stand for the first time! Fred loves Roman history and the Triumphal Arch dates back to 19AD, the Gallo-Roman Arena in Saintes is also impressive as were the 11th and 12th C churches, I know he must have been having a ball.