Janet's visit to Paris gets me thinking about my parenting

I was chatting to a mature mother recently with a two year old daughter and it struck me when she said she loves her confident, feisty child with her independent streak.

I was not a young mother, already in my early thirties yet when I read my letters from the these years in France, I am painfully aware of my naiveté and that I could have parented in a different way.

I should have taken more pleasure in Shawni's 'joie de vivre' and been more in touch with her independent streak, her alertness and strength of character. Rather I seem to do a lot of whining to my mother, talking about Shawni 'going through a difficult phase again'. During Jan's visit with Lexi in May 1987, I write pompously that 'they do not understand the concept of sharing'.

Looking back I do realise that this phase in my life was challenging and my escape was into planning, into travel, with a cafe au lait and a pen in my hand. As I still do, but as I matured I coped a little better and managed some of my blind-spots when it came to my parenting skills.

Janet and I enjoyed our times together when she visited from Germany. I see from my letter that we did a guided tour around the Cafe Procope, the oldest cafe in Paris and some shopping too. The shirt that I mention is now in my quilting stash, it has been cut up and used in a quilt I am making at the moment.

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